Matthew 28:18-20

18	And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
19	Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
20	Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

insult to injury

stupid dog knocks over garbage, retrieves a few choice items from the wreckage.  Stupid dog sees me and tries to bolt.  stupid dog is grabbed by collar and shown the tipped over garbage.  stupid dog knows he's in trouble.  stupid dog pees on my leg.  STUPID DOG.

knock-knock jokes

David:  Knock-knock!
Noah: who dere?
D: Poop!
N: poo who?
D: poop on a rock!
D & N:  hahahahaha!

N: Na-na!
D: Whos there?
N: poop!
D: poop who?
N: poo blah bleh nah!
D & N:  hahahahaha!

and so it goes the entire drive to the Secretary of State.  I love that the jokes make no sense, usually involve "poop" or "butt," and they crack up every time!  I actually turned down the radio, so I could hear the nonsensical jokes also.  Kids are hilarious.

slaves

moms are slaves to short people.  tiny little beings who bark orders as well as any drill sergeant.  they may say 'please' but it is not in the form of a question.
oh, look!  mom's about to sit down-- "Juice, please!"
it is obvious to any mother that sitting is an unacceptable pass time.  as soon as your butt hits the chair, the requests pour in.  "hey, mom, wanna play a game?"  "hey, mom, wanna go outside?"  "hey, mom--may i have milk PLEASE!"  "hey, mom, what are you doing?"  "Hey, mom, can i watch a movie?"  "hey, mom--why are you  rocking back and forth in the fetal position with your arms covering your head?"
The little Nero's are in charge.
It's exhausting.

stupid dog

sure!  lets take the dog for a car ride!  he has always done well before.  Starts off just fine.  No whining, no rabid drooling.  He sat, lounged nicely, with his head in david's lap most of the whole time.  Half hour to destination, just fine.  Ten minutes into return trip--vomits all over my childs leg!  To the POUND with you, foul beast!

I hear, "eeew, mom, sam puked on me..."  turn around--half digested dog food all down david's leg, the car seat, the actual seat, and the bag containing the boys' snow apparel. i then experience the joy of trying to clean dog puke off my darling little boy with baby wipes.  5 of them, cuz that's all i have w/ me.  everyone can guess how well that worked.
  
while i'm fuming about the dog, Dave is explaining to david that sam did not mean to, he just doesn't feel good.  Sam did not puke on you to be mean.  Sam rides the rest of the ride home, head still in david's lap, while david consoles him.  "You just not feel good.  It's ok you puke on me."   Sweetest little boy.  Get's puked on and tries to cheer up the puker.  I would have beat that dog and thrown him in the trunk.