holy sheet!

i would like to start out by saying--i do not know how this happens.  

   so we bought a lovely new sheet set.  6 months later it had developed an enormous shredded HOLE at my husbands feet.  now i know his feet are a bit calloused, but...  they should not have caused this amount of destruction.  so he sewed it up (manly), slept on it for a few nights, and the hole came back with a vengeance.  so, needless to say, lovely sheet was thrown into the lovely garbage can.  

   we dug out our former jersey sheet. stretched it out on the mattress and behold---tons of little holes are dotted all over MY side.  the holes were not there when we stuck it in the top of our cedar closet.  a few of the holes were a couple inches big (when first placed on bed).  this is ridiculous.  after a few nights of sleeping on this holey mess, the holes have stretched to gargantuan sizes (think 6-12 inches).  there are now 2 by my feet that i get my foot caught in every night and rip it just a little bit more every time.  

  Anyone who would visit our house and checked our sheets (some guests are weird and creepy) they would assume that we slept with knives.  all the time.  or maybe an angry cat. or moths from hell. what is going on and WHY is this happening?!  we clip our toenails and refuse to sleep with sharp objects and animals.  and yet--it appears we sleep with raptors.

  It is glaringly obvious that we need a new sheet.  that was "sheet" singular.  I do not need a new sheet set--which cost $60 - $90.  no thank you.  just need one measly sheet.  apparently that simple task should be part of pilgrimage back to the old country.  Turns out it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to buy a single fitted sheet.  You know, I would even accept a set of fitted sheets.  but, nope.  fitted sheets are available only in sheet sets containing a whole bed's worth of sheets and pillow cases.  

   i finally found a fitted sheet (unicorn sings to rainbow, and the fairies rejoice) at bed, bath & beyond for....  $60.  SIXTY FREAKING DOLLARS.  the cost of an entire bedding set.  are you kidding me?  i feel that i need to point out that they are sold individually at walmart for $12.50, however they are 200 thread count--think "sand paper," people.  i couldnt put us through that.  (200 thread count at bb&b is $40.  ahem.  out of their minds)  e-bay has given me a few better options, but not not much-- we may get 1 fitted sheet for (gasp) $30.  

    I just want a sheet!!!