weight gain

so, i have noticed that I have been gaining weight.  way too much in such a short amount of time.  no, i am not pregnant--and i didn't gain weight till about month 3 with that anyway.  my idea was slim fast and V8 juice.  you know, live off of liquids during the day and eat a "sensible" dinner--and no snacking afterwards.  proposed this idea to dave, "no."  excuse me?  "no--we cannot afford to buy a case of slim fast because you THINK you are getting fat.  just run up and down the stairs."  that seems to be his answer for all of my proposals.  "i want a stair master."  "just run up and down the stairs."  that is not the same thing.

told my parents i need to lose weight.  my mom, of course, said "oh you do not!  u do not look fat at all."   dad said, "just stop eating."  thanks dad.  appreciate it.  im assuming he meant 'don't eat as much' or 'stop eating that candy bar in your hand.'

Regardless, i need to lose this extra weight im suddenly accumulating.  yes, i want new clothes, but "because i need a bigger size" is not an acceptable reason.  i TRIED to eat slightly better than normal today, but then i had pizza rolls for lunch at Leah's and a fun size Mounds bar....   when I got home and put the kids to bed, and I did Jillian Michael's 'Shred.'  it made me feel better about eating crap food, cuz it made me feel like crap afterward.  kinda wanted to die.  dont remember the workout being that awful 6 months ago!  but it sucked.  so i need to do it daily--by feeling like crap on a daily basis, it will make me not feel like crap in the long run.  weird logic, but true.

oh, so nauseous.