No they're not

"mice"

by Rose Fyleman

I think mice are nice. 

Their tails are long 

Their faces small, 

They haven't any 

Chins at all. 

Their ears are pink, 

Their teeth are white, 

They run about 

The house at night. 

They nibble things 

They shouldn't touch 

And no one seems 

To like them much.

But I think mice 

Are nice

 Author: rose fyleman

Truly adorable poem, but I disagree.  They are not nice!  Unless it is in a cage with a little wheel, or if his name is Ralph and he rides a motorcycle.  Otherwise, they need to be out in a field like their name suggests.  
While I was bringing up the fall decorations from the basement, I noticed that one of the tiny foam pumpkins had nibbles taken out of it.  Well, crap.  I know what that means.  Then I see that the scarf on a scarecrow has been clawed off and shredded into a fluff ball at the bottom of the box.  
All things involving mice make me want to vomit!  They just poop wherever they want!  They are filthy and have lice and have no regard for cleanliness!  At least on Ratatouille they all washed their paws!  I am now so thankful for the draft guard underneath the basement door.  There has not been a single sign of mice in the main part of the house, only the basement.
So, I found a couple traps under the sink, smeared those suckers with peanut butter and put them down stairs.   I did not check them the next morning.  I was secretly hoping that it had just been one mouse that had moved on long ago.  
Well, I heard the sump pump running this morning, so I went down to see if it was stuck on (yes).  Guess I should check the traps... Ugh...  Um?  Where did the traps go?  They were not where I left them.  I crept a little closer.  
At this point, I'm picturing them scurrying up my leg and dropping from the ceiling into my hair.  They're known to do that--they wage war when they hear you talking about traps.  
Then I spotted one.  Flipped over next to a support pole is a mouse, dead in the trap, with carnage squirted out to the side.  UUGGHHH!  Well, I guess I better find the other one.  But I'm sure this mouse had eaten off the missing trap, tripped it, but got away before getting caught in the second one.  Cause we only have ONE mouse.
Ooohhhh, there's the other one.  Flipped and full of dead mouse also.  
Well, crap.  I'm not completely stupid.  I know what this means also.  There are many, many mice taking up residence in the basement.  The traps will need to be reset every day till they come up mouse-less.  And you know I'm not touching that!  Well, I would, but it would be with a bag around my hand like it was dog poop, and I would throw the entire thing away and buy more traps.  
Dave will dump the tiny corpses from the trap and reset them.  He's manly like that.  Luckily, when I announced, "i'm not touching them!" Dave just said, "ok."  And I fell in love all over again.  He disposed and reset the traps while I took the kids to school.  Thank God for you!
And now, we will wait and see.  I will keep track of how many are found.  Oh, you know I will.  Report back later.