buddy

I am dave's buddy.  this can be good and bad.  good that he thinks of me as a friend and that he can joke and play around with me.  bad that he sometimes treats like his frat brother (e.g. "working from home").

There are so many male bodily functions going on in this house that i would like a separate wing built for me.  This wing would be full of everything I love and will probably involve some pink and jewels.  (and rock posters...)

I do not want to be farted on.  EVER.  I do not want you to fart near me.  I do not want you to fart in bed and then throw the blanket over my head.  EVER.  Do not tell me about your poop.  Do not announce that you are about to go poop.  Do not use phrases like "turtle head" or "brown eye."  I have to wipe baby boy butts all day--don't need to hear about your's.

I am not a guy--i believe that is why you married me, because I am NOT a guy.  Not sure why you always call me "man" and "dude."  I am neither.  I am a girl.  I like to play around.  I like to joke around.  I am fun and funny, but let's keep a balance.  Don't take it too far and then accuse me of being sensitive.  I am a girl--I am sensitive.

Treat me like a girl--it's what you love most about me.